Oil
May 20, 2021
86 views 4 mins 0

Oil Prices Determined Horoscope, OPEC Confirms

“Scorpio season = bullish” becomes official cartel guidance. Alexandra Chen | Stablecoin & Regulation Analyst A Cosmic Energy Policy In a startling announcement that blended astrology with economics, OPEC officials confirmed this week that oil price targets will now be set according to horoscope readings. The decision marks a dramatic shift away from traditional supply-demand […]

Oil
January 17, 2016
91 views 7 mins 0

OPEC Announces Oil Prices Now Set Daily Horoscope

“Scorpio season = bullish energy,” cartel confirms. Stars Over Supply Chains In a decision that stunned economists and delighted astrologers, the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) announced it will now set global oil prices based on daily horoscopes rather than traditional supply-and-demand models. The announcement came during a press conference in Vienna, where […]

Oil
March 19, 2015
76 views 5 mins 0

OPEC Introduces Loyalty Card for Frequent Oil Buyers

Every tenth barrel is free with a premium membership. Alexandra Chen | Stablecoin & Regulation Analyst Pumping Up Customer Loyalty In a surprising move blending global economics with supermarket marketing, the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries unveiled a loyalty program for frequent oil buyers. Dubbed OPEC Rewards, the scheme promises that after every nine […]